Cheery Cherry Rainbow Cake Dreams

cherry rainbow cake  - coco cake land

cherry topped pink buttercream cake - coco cake land

I made this sour cherry topped rainbow cake yesterday. Just for the hell of it. Just to bake, to make something pretty, to exercise my frosting arm. Our lovely neighbors’ tree was filled with these bright, sweetly sour cherry bombs – I love it when fruit just bursts from a tree all of a sudden, speckled like shimmery red polka dots. The last time I baked a whole cake was way back in January, for my mom’s 70th birthday high tea party. The day before my mom’s big party, my family doctor phoned me, her voice hushed and strained with concern. She had called to tell me the results of the biopsy on the “weird growth” that had shown up on an ultrasound of my right breast. My worst fears were confirmed: it was “C.” Cancer. Me!! Breast cancer. I tried to remain calm as she told me the specific type of cancer it was and how she had made me an appointment with a surgeon. I scribbled down what she was telling me, but my body was in shock. I could hear Teddy playing in the other room. As soon as I heard him, the tears welled up and gushed out. I had breast cancer. I might die. I might have to leave my child. Teddy could be motherless. I had no idea what was going on in my body.

bright red sour cherries - coco cake land

It’s been almost 6 months now and my body has been through so much. IVF to save my eggs for hopefully future babies. The passing of my beloved grandma, the coolest old lady in town, who I miss very much. Surgery to remove a portion of my right breast (I call it a mini boob now – a mini version of my left boob. The little sister.) The loss of my lovely black hair. Chemo, which I hate so much and gives me great anxiety. And on many days, the loss of my self esteem, my energy and my creativity.

cherry topped pink buttercream cake - coco cake land

The first half of 2015? It’s had some shitty times, let’s just say! I’ve had horrible days of deep depression, confusion and frustration with my body, my brain. But through all the yucky stuff, there’s been plenty of good stuff. It’s the stuff I look for daily, the stuff I treasure and keep in my heart. For instance: I am pretty good at tying a big old scarf on my head. I am medium-ok (not really) at drawing on Charlie Chaplin style cartoon eyebrows. I have experienced soooo much goodness and kindness and incredible gestures from so many people, whether it’s been meals made for my family, big and little cheer-me-up gifts in the mail, hats knit with love, thoughtful messages, letters and so many offers of help. Presents for Teddy, snacks left at the door. Even Miffy spam musubi! Such an enormous amount of love and dammnit, I feel blessed. I am sooo in a deep treasuring state for all of my friends and family. For the new friends I’ve made, people who have reached out. For my friends all over the world who I’ve met through this blog and my Instagram. Other good things: my husband graduating from medical school! And Teddy practicing all of his “bad words” is pretty amusing too. Penis, pennis, bagina, poo, pee, diarrhea – the songs and giggles are endless. What can I do? Some days he tells me to put on my hair (my wig). Other times he tells me to take my wig off so he can see my “egghead.” All I can do is laugh.

pink cherry cake cuteness - coco cake land

I have one more chemo to go, on June 30th. Just seeing the words chemo makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t wait until it’s over. I’m ready to freak out for when it’s all done. Then I have a long-ish break before radiation starts in late August – so this Chinese bald eagle is gonna FLY! Not really. I’m going to hang out in my backyard and eat homemade snowcones and tons of snacks and read magazines and watch Teddy frolic around his kiddie swimming pool. Heck, I might even dunk my bald head in there if he hasn’t peed in the pool.

slice of cherry rainbow cuteness - coco cake land

cherry rainbow cake overhead - coco cake land

perfectly pink slice of cherry topped cake - coco cake land

slices of rainbow cake - coco cake land

rainbow cake insides

half a rainbow cake - coco cake land

half of a rainbow cake - coco cake land

This cake! Baking this cake gave me hope. I saw my cakey future again. To have ideas, and energy, and excitement again to work and create, to work on my cake book… to take my son to preschool, to run around with him without getting so tired. To cook, to celebrate, to hang out with friends, to travel, to go on a nice mini trip with my husband who has been so incredible throughout this… to see my hair grow back and not feel so low self-esteemy. This happy chappy pink cherry topped rainbow cake is my little beacon of hope on the horizon, that my life will be coming back to me. I can’t wait. Hoping you all get to do something fun this weekend – here’s to the second half of 2015 tearing the first half a new one! And thank you as always for reading! xo Lyndsay 

22 Responses to “Cheery Cherry Rainbow Cake Dreams”

  1. June @ How to Philosophize with Cake

    What a gorgeous cake!! I just love the colors, it definitely is “cheery” :)

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      thank you june!

  2. Caroline

    What a gorgeous cake. Only you would emerge from health retirement with something most people would need whole days and extra helpers to create!

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      thanks so much caroline for the sweet words! ^__^

  3. kerry

    Lyndsay, your posts always make me so happy. One more to go!! I’m sure you are dreading but I will be sending so many good thoughts your way.

    ps – tell me all of your smooth cake secrets, this is awesome!

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      i appreciate it, kerry – thanks!

  4. Tabatha

    Feelin’ summer time happy vibes from this cake! Such beautiful colours and upbeat flavourz (I imagine!). Keep on keepin’ on girrrrrrl, love your photos, jelly of your cakes and inspired by your attitude.
    *bisous*

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      thank you so much tabatha!

  5. steph

    girl, you’re going to rock the second half of 2015! your energy and positivity :) :) :)

    xoxo

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      aww thank you my sweet friend!! XO (ps let’s rock out with many eating trips!)

  6. anni

    You sure make pretty cakes!

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      hey thanks anni!

  7. Cindy

    Those cherries are like a technicolor dream! But, they’re f’real, real!
    I’ve been thinking of you and just know you’re gonna grab the rest of this year by the tender bits. I mean, if this cake is any indication, the rest of 2015 better watch out. XOXOX!

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      tender bits!! haha.. thanks so much cindy. you’re so sweet. hoping that means a trip to portland too so we can EAT! ^__^

  8. Elizabeth @ SugarHero.com

    Yes, here’s to a fantastic second half of 2015! Here’s to no more freaking chemo and to swimming and lemonade and finding words that rhyme with “diarrhea” and getting your baking mojo back. Here’s to no more cancer and to rocking a sexy pageboy. Here’s to your health and your family and YOU! xoxo

    Reply
    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      elizabeth, your kind words mean the world. thank you!!! xo

  9. Nancy @ gottagetbaked

    You are a bad ass and a total trooper, Lyndsay! I’m glad that you get a reprieve (albeit a short one) from chemo. Enjoy every moment! Here’s to a better second half of 2015. As soon as I’m off work, I’m coming over to chill in your back yard and I’m loading up on whatever it is you want me to bring. And this cake is the GD bomb. Ferreals. xoxo

    Reply
  10. Laurel (@abubblylife)

    Its been a bit since you wrote this post, hoping you are fulfilling your dreams of homemade snowcones and reading mags. These photos are gorgeous and I want to eat that cake and the cherries!!

    Reply
  11. Olivia

    Lyndsay, I was simply searching for cake ideas while enjoying my morning coffee, when I came across your post. Absolutely beautiful cake, but what really struck me was your beautiful attitude, which I think is spot on to kick that “c” word in the cherry! Wishing health and happiness to you and your family x

    Reply
  12. SD

    What a charming design, and perfectly executed, too! Congratulations on getting through the first stage of your treatment– you can do this!

    Reply
  13. Andrea

    Sweetheart!!! Your beautiful family will give you energy and love and would always be with you as well as your friends. The best for you and the cooking will help you get through this moment so keep doing it. We love you!!! Hugs and kisses from Norway!

    Reply
  14. Kathleen

    As usual, what a beautiful cake Lyndsay! And thank you for sharing your experience with us – I can’t imagine how tough this time must be for you, but if anyone can get through it like a champ I know it’s you! :)

    Reply

Leave a Reply