Cocktails and Dreams … I don’t know why these photos remind me of the name of the bar in the final scene of Cocktail the movie but they do … Tom Cruise is so uncool maybe he’s about to get cool again? Kind of like how a few years ago, street fashion had frigging Doc Martens on the rise and I thought “OH GEEZ NO.” And now I’ve warmed up to them and now I feel like “oh God no. I want a pair.” Then I also think: “WHY did I get rid of all of my Doc Martens in the 1990s?” Although I had a horrid pair of (at the time, very cool) blueberry 12 hole Docs. I’ve been reading the excellent book Women In Clothes before bed and it’s really been jogging my clothing memory. I’ve gone through so many purges of clothing over the decades, so many different looks. I like how honestly the women answer how clothing and style and how they look to the world affects them. What I wear and how I look definitely burns like a marshmallow fire on my subconscious, and being hyper-aware of my changing looks these last 8 months having gone through breast cancer treatment has made me all the more conscious, and self-conscious. To not be able to control my outward appearance – to give in to the look of bald Fugazi Mom or Erykah Badu turban queen, or simply the tired, pale grey shapeless egg woman, I am excited to turn to clothing and fashion to help express myself once again. My hair is in true thick and growing-in, puffball status right now and I am gleeful, excited of its potential. My face colour has returned and I’ve been continuing my daily exercise, which seriously makes one’s skin glow. With every pump of the arms of the elliptical machine, blood rushes to the face, sweat clears out pores.
I made this raspberry-dotted vanilla buttercream birthday cake (with strawberry jam filling) for my dear friend Miko’s daughter Saya’s 5th birthday. I haven’t been baking much lately but I really wanted to make something for Miko – her family has supported me so much through my cancer treatments over the last 8 months, from bringing me meals, to presents and treats, to even getting me a DVD player and a stack of DVDs so I could watch uplifting movies like Totoro while recovering from chemo. I was so happy to be able to make something special for Saya!
I will always love the simple buttercream birthday cake. Especially in pastel cute colours and a hand-tossing of sprinkles. You can read my post on how to frost a cake here!
This past Monday I finished my last radiation appointment. Last zapping of the boob. My husband sent me the cutest text: “So exciting! I can already imagine the John Hughes freeze frame when you fist pump on your way out the door! Love you!” I am happy. I have knocked off three big components of my breast cancer treatment: surgery, chemo and now radiation. I can’t believe I’ve done it, sometimes. I remember sitting in the surgeon’s office back in February and hearing the long list of treatments I would be going through, all so foreign and scary and unknown. I had no idea how I would feel or who I would be or what I would look like when it was all done. While I still have Herceptin infusions for the next 8 months and Tamoxifen (a targeted hormone therapy drug treatment) for the next 5 years (although I’ve spoken with my oncologist about holding off on it until after I try implanting a frozen embryo) … I feel like Lyndsay Sung is coming back to life. And it’s a good feeling. xo Lyndsay
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