Pink Rainbow Cake + Balance

pink cake on horse cake stand - coco cake land

pink rainbow cake slices - Coco Cake Land

Balance. A tense, tip-toe walk on a tight rope pulled taut, between two buildings, holding onto a pole. Working through the changes in my body, the build up of white chalky pills disintegrating down my throat, tiny particles floating and clinging to invisible cells, maybe doing their job, maybe not. I feel like tamoxifen is drying me out like leathery old skin left to bake in the sun.

pink rainbow cake by Coco Cake Land

Balance – I had a spurt of creative energy last week. I baked macarons, this crazy rainbow cake, and stayed up late icing rainbow and ice cream cone sugar cookies til my eyes blurred. I have so many projects to work on, yet I just needed to make something purely for fun.

rainbow cake slices - Coco Cake Land

The balance between expending energy for work projects or purely creative pursuits or DRUMMING (I’ve become obsessed with drumming these days – just the urge to bang on things and play loud music too) and making meals, grocery shopping, keeping the house tidy-ish and giving all my love to my son and husband and trying to stay mentally well and physically moderately-fit, plus social friend times or family celebrations or dinners, and then that continual messy house thing… which always makes me want to Marie Kondo the crap out of our house and just purge, purge, purge, and give away 80% of my son’s toys… Wanting to do more in every aspect of my life. And then always, in the back of my mind, continually conscious of the fact that my cancer could recur. Every day I come to the acceptance that I can’t do enough or everything or do all the things I’d like to do for my home, family, work and self. It’s a daily reminder, a daily acceptance.

pink rainbow cake - Coco Cake Land

Balance. I’ve been continuing to lace up my pink runners to sweat it out at the gym. I’ve been kale-ing up my diet (along with handfuls of gummy candy, sheesh). I’ve been reading lots (Lucky Peach, Barbara Pym, I read the first Elena Ferrante Neopolitan novel…) and just trying to keep the laughs alive. Balance – how do you achieve it? How do you keep from going mental? xo Lyndsay 

8 Responses to “Pink Rainbow Cake + Balance”

  1. Tori

    Yum! This cake is so sweet and lovely! I’m in love with the colors!

    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      Rainbow-y! Thanks Tori.

  2. movita beaucoup

    Ah, balance. I’ve built a career upon it – literally – and still know nothing about it. Sometimes I think balance is the REAL meaning of life. As in, if you can achieve it, you’ve lived well.

    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      Yes. The best of each little world we surround ourselves with – family, friends, work, creativity, etc etc. I don’t think I’ll ever know the answers either .. xo

  3. Tessa

    I don’t have any great advice, but this at least helps to know I’m not alone. Every other week or so I feel like I’ve finally figured it out then quickly come back to feeling like I’m doing a million different things, but none of them very well. Acceptance is hard (like the fact that kitchen will never stay clean for more than a few hours), but let’s try to remember that we are truly doing the best we can. Banging drums probably helps too. Hehe. xoxoxo

    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      Aw thanks Tessa. I’m glad I’m not alone too – (the kitchen staying clean?? Oh man.) but we are quite lucky, aren’t we, in the end… (yes banging drums helps me get rid of my Hulk rage! haha…) XO

  4. Erica

    Balance, it’s an everyday fight, but one worth fighting for! Usually when I tend to feel a little out of whack, I turn off my phone, pour myself a cup of hot tea (or even just hot water), and read – whether it’s from a book or from thoughtful blog posts like this one! It helps to remember that you’re not alone in the struggle to find everyday balance :)
    And your cakes are so inspiring to me, this one is no exception. I love the colors inside, what a beautiful beautiful surprise!!! <3

    1. Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

      Erica – I think you nailed it with turning off the phone!! Eeps, it’s so calming when I’m away from it, ha. Thank you so much for the kind words! xo

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