Cocktails and Dreams … I don’t know why these photos remind me of the name of the bar in the final scene of Cocktail the movie but they do … Tom Cruise is so uncool maybe he’s about to get cool again? Kind of like how a few years ago, street fashion had frigging Doc Martens on the rise and I thought “OH GEEZ NO.” And now I’ve warmed up to them and now I feel like “oh God no. I want a pair.” Then I also think: “WHY did I get rid of all of my Doc Martens in the 1990s?” Although I had a horrid pair of (at the time, very cool) blueberry 12 hole Docs. I’ve been reading the excellent book Women In Clothes before bed and it’s really been jogging my clothing memory. I’ve gone through so many purges of clothing over the decades, so many different looks. I like how honestly the women answer how clothing and style and how they look to the world affects them. What I wear and how I look definitely burns like a marshmallow fire on my subconscious, and being hyper-aware of my changing looks these last 8 months having gone through breast cancer treatment has made me all the more conscious, and self-conscious. To not be able to control my outward appearance – to give in to the look of bald Fugazi Mom or Erykah Badu turban queen, or simply the tired, pale grey shapeless egg woman, I am excited to turn to clothing and fashion to help express myself once again. My hair is in true thick and growing-in, puffball status right now and I am gleeful, excited of its potential. My face colour has returned and I’ve been continuing my daily exercise, which seriously makes one’s skin glow. With every pump of the arms of the elliptical machine, blood rushes to the face, sweat clears out pores.
I made this raspberry-dotted vanilla buttercream birthday cake (with strawberry jam filling) for my dear friend Miko’s daughter Saya’s 5th birthday. I haven’t been baking much lately but I really wanted to make something for Miko – her family has supported me so much through my cancer treatments over the last 8 months, from bringing me meals, to presents and treats, to even getting me a DVD player and a stack of DVDs so I could watch uplifting movies like Totoro while recovering from chemo. I was so happy to be able to make something special for Saya!
I will always love the simple buttercream birthday cake. Especially in pastel cute colours and a hand-tossing of sprinkles. You can read my post on how to frost a cake here!
This past Monday I finished my last radiation appointment. Last zapping of the boob. My husband sent me the cutest text: “So exciting! I can already imagine the John Hughes freeze frame when you fist pump on your way out the door! Love you!” I am happy. I have knocked off three big components of my breast cancer treatment: surgery, chemo and now radiation. I can’t believe I’ve done it, sometimes. I remember sitting in the surgeon’s office back in February and hearing the long list of treatments I would be going through, all so foreign and scary and unknown. I had no idea how I would feel or who I would be or what I would look like when it was all done. While I still have Herceptin infusions for the next 8 months and Tamoxifen (a targeted hormone therapy drug treatment) for the next 5 years (although I’ve spoken with my oncologist about holding off on it until after I try implanting a frozen embryo) … I feel like Lyndsay Sung is coming back to life. And it’s a good feeling. xo Lyndsay
June @ How to Philosophize with Cake
That cake is very cute indeed!! The perfect birthday cake I imagine :) Love the pastel colors too!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
thanks june!
Christine Coughlin
I’m so happy to hear you are starting to feel like yourself again. I also love that you are celebrating each milestone as they come. It’s what bakers do best and adds so much joy to life. Xx
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
thank you for the kind words, christine! geez, bakers really do help the celebrations along, don’t they? i think i will make a cake. xo
Tori
Congratulations on the end of your radiation treatment. What a testimony to have come this far, you are truly one of God’s miracles. This cake looks delicious and oh so lovely! I bet your friends daughter was thrilled!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
thank you so much tori! xo
movita beaucoup
I’m so glad you’re on tail end of treatments! Keep feeling good, lady!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
aw rachael. thank you my friend. xo
Jud Baufer
love the colors and the simplicity of the cake! awesome..
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
thanks jud!
Elizabeth @ SugarHero.com
Oh Lyndsay, congratulations!! I am picturing you fist-pumping and then doing the Tom Cruise in Risky Business dance (maybe with pants on though??) So happy for you, and sending you the biggest wishes for good health and full recovery. xoxo!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
haha! Elizabeth you always make me laugh … I’m actually a pants-free-Canada kind of girl … thank you for the well wishes and the sweet note as always… xo
Anne @ Sugar Baby Bakes
Hooray to being done with radiation! This post put a huge smile on my face. :-)
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
thank you anne!!
Cindy
I’m fist pumping over here for you, Lyndsay!!
Also, pastel birthday cakes and sprinkles, FOREVER!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
you are a sweet woman, cindy! thank you always for your support. xo
gyoza*girl
yay yay yay!!! three down! *fistpump on your way out the door!* :) so cute. xoxox
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
Thank you sis!! xo
Kate
Oh Lyndsay, I’m beyond happy for you and your family!!! No better way to celebrate in my opinion than a liberally sprinkled cake.
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
Thanks so much, Kate ^__^
Elizabeth
Lyndsay! You are incredible. I am so glad to know you’re rounding the corner on cancer treatment and can even think about what’s next for you. Your honesty and grace through this whole process is inspiring. I’m sending out so many good thoughts as you move toward the future.
One of the things I love most is your (seemingly) effortless blending of real life things and lovely, sweet dessert things. Buttercream forever!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
Elizabeth you are so sweet. Thank you so much. xo
Catherine Allison
Hi Lyndsay
It’s the first time I’ve read your blog but you’re a real inspiration. I’m nearing the end of chemo, all the rest to follow as in your case, but it’s hard to stay positive and hold on to who one thinks one is. I completely understand your sense of blur from diagnosis and onto treatment. after the initial numbness of the ‘situation’ there’s the ‘who am I now and where am I going? It goes round and round in my head. BUT today I’ve read your blog and signed up for a blogging course, so someone is trying to tell me something – even if it’s only that things are going to be alright. Thank you for being so honest and keeping going. It’s up from here on in! Catherine Xx
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
Oh Catherine, I’m so sorry to hear you are going through the “ringer” (to put it lightly) … I think writing can be a really helpful outlet – a blogging course sounds great! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I am sending you lots of love and strength to get through all the hard stuff. Take care! xo
Mary
Just came across your story! Glad you are on the tail end of treatment. Great how your blog enabled you to express your feelings and knowledge for others. Best of luck and wishes for good health!
BTW Your cakes are beautiful!
Mary
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
Thank you so much, Mary!
Jane
Hi Lyndsay…I just read your story on Faith’s Kitchen. I was 35 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, so your story touched my heart. I just wanted to tell you I just celebrated my 60th birthday…so keep baking!!! By the way I’m a baker too!!!
Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land
Jane … I love it. Thank you for sharing this with me – take care! xo
Pundelina
Oh Lyndsay! Isn’t it such a strange mixture of wonderful and weird to be done with treatments! I escaped with only surgery and radiation, which was fortunate, but my last treatment was on the 17th of September and just two days ago I felt like my own self again. Admittedly, a b00b-burnt-and-unbalanced version of me, but it was so lovely to be awake ALL DAY LONG and cook for myfamily and not feel permanently exhausted.
Your cake is so pretty, I too love the pastel-sprinkles combo – it looks gorgeous.
Life has to be on the up for us both now, and about time too!
Best luck to you xx
Tamsin @ A Certain Adventure
Congratulations Lyndsay, I’m so happy for you! You’re an incredibly brave, inspiring lady and I’m so pleased to hear that you’re done with this harrowing stage of the treatment process. Huge fist pump for you :) xx
Kathy
I am heartened to read about your journey. I am just about to begin chemo for ovarian cancer and while not a baker, I am a foodie and a cook. It is a big part of my life and since surgeries, I cant quite get into preparing much of anything. Reading about your success of getting through it and returning to your passion, gives me hope to face my challenge ahead. Thank you for sharing.
Pat
So happy for you! I also have been walking the breast cancer journey this past year. Diagnosed in October, 2014. Breast Cancer Awareness and a new primary care doc gave me the kick to get a mammogram. At 61, with no family history I thought, erroneously, that I was good. Never found a lump and I did check. I had lumpectomy, chemo, bilateral mastectomy and then radiation. I totally relate to your feelings and how you survived the last year. Glad you are starting to feel better — me too! Your cakes are so pretty. I wish you well and your story gives me encouragement. God bless you and your family.
Monique | WritingMonique
You’ve done it! Believe it! You are absolutely amazing! And tht cake, the cake is beautiful! So are you!
beau
So so so so sooooooooo proud of you, Lindsay! I only began following your journey a couple of months ago, but having read all of your posts has been so damn inspiring. You are amazing. Amazing. Oh and this cake is also amazing. Yum!
Sue {Munchkin Munchies}
Woo hoo, you are one tough cookie, or should I say, cake!?! I hope 2016 is a wonderful year for you!